The Social Outcast

I would like to formally introduce you all to my dear mother, my single source of wisdom and inspiration throughout my life.  Her name is Zell Collum, and she is right about 28 years old (wink).  She was a teacher for 27 years (yes, since she was 1), and if you count all the years she has taught me, then add several more years to that.  She single-handedly raised 3 children by herself, after my grandfather passed away unexpectedly.  Then, after shortly getting her third child out of her house, she selflessly took on her grandson (me), when my parents were not ‘able’ to do the job.  She is the most amazing person I’ve ever known, and I am excited to be able to bring you a small piece of the knowledge that she has instilled in me the last 19 years.  Please leave her some feedback, because she has done a great job with this article.

“When Tyler asked me to be a guest blogger on The Social Outcast, my first thoughts were, ‘What can I possibly say that anyone would want to read?’  While that may be true, I decided to honor his request and go for it.  My thoughts are not original, but draw from the wisdom I have adopted throughout my life, from various people and events that have shaped me into the person I am.  I have been lucky to have good role models in my life to help me stay on track.

It amazes me of how many ups and downs we have that shape our life.  Some enhance who we are and some drag us down.  I often think about how words stay with us forever and how a person can be hurt more by a few unkind or misplaced  words than when physically hurt by the same person.  Physical injuries have a way of healing while words seem to settle in and often fester into a big open sore, inside.  Our mental and emotional health is so important to our well-being and development of who we are.   That being the case, I think we need to be careful on how we treat and talk to others.

In my opinion there are some key things to consider.  Honesty has always been a big thing for me.  If you want people to respect and believe in you, it is so important to be trustworthy.  If someone is consistently dishonest with me, and if I can’t always believe that what they say is true and factual, I can’t have a meaningful relationship with them.  If someone consistently lets me down, I tend to back off; ‘Why set myself up to be disappointed?’  I’m not saying this is the right thing to do, but  it is the way I am.  It doesn’t mean I treat them badly, I just keep  my emotions at a distance.  If someone doesn’t want me to be a part of their life, I back off; it is their choice and I can’t change that.  I just need to watch for a new door or window to open with them, but it may or may not happen.

This thought brings me to the idea of forgiveness.  I find that it is very important to forgive people (sometimes this is difficult, to say the least).  Even in the best families and friendships there are going to be problems.  Forgiving a person is important, not for them but for myself.  I have found that in order to move forward I have to forgive.  It does not mean that I am wrong and they are right, it is simply giving myself permission to put the event behind me and move on. The only thing that may change is my inner self.

This brings me to another lesson I have learned, a particularly difficult one for me, which is the idea that the only person I can truly change is myself.  I have learned, for the most part, to be in tune to what I can change and know that I have to let go of what I cannot.  The fine line is knowing which is which.

I try to have people to hang out with who have positive thoughts  and good attitudes in my life.  I can get all the negative stuff by watching the news, I don’t need to live it.

Thank you for letting me get on my soapbox and share a thought or two.”

-Zell Collum